Orangemen - the energy, not the enemy

Orangemen have got to be the biggest bunch of fucking idiots ever to have walked (or marched as the case may be) the earth. Personally, I think they're quite funny and in some ways I feel slightly guilty laughing at them because it's kinda like laughing at a child who can't get the wrapper off his packet of Toffos. In fact, the more I think about it, the Orangemen are EXACTLY like a child who can't get the wrapper off his packet of Toffos. It's a mixture of immaturity, naievity, stupidity, frustration and just plain old going about things the wrong way.

Anyway, that's not what this post is about. This post is about making a useless bunch of bumwipes into something that people will actually admire and even applaud for a change - an energy source.

How? It's very simple. They like marching, don't they? Construct a fucking big treadmill and put them on it. Hook the whole lot up to an ESB-style dynamo turbine thingy and Bob's your Auntie's naughty neighbour who keeps jumping over the back fence to stick spaghetti up her bumhole (?).

You could get a couple of hundred of the Laurel and Hardy looking gimps on a massive treadmill and generate a shiteload of watts so we can sit home and look at the Nuacht while sipping on a nice cup of Barry's. Just the fucking job.

They could take shifts. Say 200 of the Oompah Loompah lookin' geebags are on the treadmill in rows of 10 across. After a couple of hours, 10 could jump off and have a nice wheaten scone and a cup of Earl Gay while another 10 hop on to take their place. You could even have a feckin' big poster of Drumcree at the front of the treadmill to make them march a bit faster.

Energy crisis? Not if I was feckin' Taoiseach, lads.